The last few months have been filled with busy school days, special holidays, visitors, the first baby smiles, and quite a lot of baby cries! But slowly the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months and before I know it the months will turn into years. I am challenging myself to find joy in every day of life and slowly I am seeing a shift in my attitude!
Jared's parents came to visit us for a few days in January. Or I guess if I'm honest they really came to see Isaac! It was fun to connect with them and show them a peek into our lives again. They had not been here in the last 3 years and this time we felt we knew much more about Grenada. We got to experience many cultural foods together, go to some of our favorite places and had many good conversations together.
We have had some exciting holidays. Independence day was about 2 weeks ago and that holiday is filled with lots of bright red, yellow, and green colors and much oil down! The children all came to school in their bright colored clothing and enjoyed a special day on the history of Grenada. Mean while a pot was bubbling downstairs giving off the festive curry smell!
This past weekend was a special time as the church family gathered on the beach to witness the baptism of Joey, a young Grenadian man. Joey has been coming to church consistently for the last 2 years and it was exciting to see him make this choice for his life. Jared and I have enjoyed his presence at boys club each week and make a point to include him in weekend plans when we can. Making the choice to live a separate and Godly life here in Grenada is a hard choice. I know that there are times when Joey is made fun of by other local 'friends' but we have seen him make many positive changes in the last few months. If you think of him, pray for him! He is a babe in Christ but we are excited for the work that God has begun in his life. It was encouraging to see the church family rally around him and support him in this step.
Every Thursday night we look forward to boys club. Recently the number of boys has been hitting 18 or 19 which is almost more then Jared can handled. When we first started boys’ club, many of the boys were ages ten and eleven. Now three years later, we are dealing with boys that are getting to an older age when they are considering different steps and choices in life. A few weeks back, Jared was teaching on temptation and one of his applications with the lesson was a challenge on what the boys are doing on their phones and would they do these things if Jesus was right there watching them. The question of video games came up. One young man asked if PUBG was a sinful game. We didn’t know what this was, but it didn’t take long and we realized this was a video game involving hunting for and killing other people. Jared brought the boys back to the commandment on killing. Of course, the boys were looking for a way out and exclaimed that this isn’t killing people; it is only a game and for fun. The question ended with leaving the choice up to them. Is a killing game bringing honor to God? Is playing killing games abstaining from “all appearance of evil”? The topic ended with boys quietly looking off in the distance pondering these thoughts. Please pray for these boys! With speaking into their lives each week, each year we are given fifty-two opportunities to point these boys to Jesus. Many of them are weighing the choice. Making a decision to follow Jesus and living a separate life is a choice that will set them apart and make them different. The peer pressure is real. Please pray for Jared and his endeavor to speak out against sin and talk about some of the harder issues in life, in hopes of making an impact that will last.
This week Jared got the end result of something that he has been working on for a few weeks. He commented that he feels like he has wings, any guesses on what he received?! Isaac's passport! It has been quiet a lengthy process. First he had to make an appointment and there were no openings for several months. We wanted to get the passport as fast as possible as we didn't know if we would be needing to fly back to the states with how things were looking with my health. He called and emailed and continued trying and after explaining the situation to the right person we got an appointment scheduled. When we went in, we took a bunch of paper work with us in order to file for a report of a birth born abroad. We did have to chuckle at the very high security to get into the US embassy. Every liquid had to be tried and proven non-poisonous, including breast milk! Eventually it boiled down to the embassy asking for Jared and my birth certificates which we didn't have in Grenada. Thankfully Jared's mom was able to locate them and send them with visitors. Several weeks later we got an email that the passport had arrived and was ready to be picked up! Somehow it is comforting to have that and know that we can take the most precious cargo with us, should we need to travel!
The change of life in the last three months has not been anywhere near to easy for me but praise God I can say that things are going better! The adjustment into motherhood has not been one that I have done gracefully but God's grace has been sufficient for each moment of every day. Isaac had become quite a fussy baby with lots of tummy aches. Often there was nothing else I could do except hold him and try hard not to feel frustrated with the many hours of crying I heard each day. Many of you encouraged me and reminded me that this is only a season, and truly it is. We did switch him to a formula that is gentle on his stomach which has seemed to help a lot with his belly aches. Each week I look back and can see improvements which I am so grateful for! One big blessing is that we are getting good sleep in this house even though my days can be filled with a fussy baby! Isaac seems to know that his evening bath means that it is time to wind down and after a bottle he will lay in his crib and put himself to sleep. The last few weeks he has woken once around 2am for a bottle and gone back to sleep quickly. Last night was the first time he slept through the night from 8pm until 5am! Jared gave Isaac a hard time telling him it looks like he ended up with the same sleeping disorder him mama has! I don't think I'd call it a disorder but a blessing!
Having a baby in a foreign land has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Some moments I didn't even know how I was getting through them other than just allowing myself to be completely broken before God. One thing that has certainly added to my frustrations is the advise giving culture here. Grenadians know how to give advice! I am told over and over again that I don't feed my baby enough or that he will get sick because he doesn't have a hat on his head on an 85 degree day. I could list many other things that I have been told by people from church, people I meet while walking on the road, or people in the grocery store. Everyone else knows how to raise baby Isaac much better then I do! One of the wildest things was being told my son will grow up to be a thief. We were getting ready to go somewhere and Jared was driving and I was going to ride up front with him so I passed sleeping Isaac through an open bus window to one of the teachers sitting in the back. The whole bus nearly lifted off the ground with shreiks! Who would have ever guessed that passing your baby through an open window will turn him into a thief?! Sometimes I can laugh about it and other times it hurts. Hearing people say my baby looks skinny and underfed and or having them ask if I breastfeed him are some of the most painful remarks. I didn't desire to have a preemie 6 weeks early and I would breastfeed him if I could. But all these comments keep me coming back to God and realizing that I am so in need of Him. Often I feel like I don't know what I'm doing and I am very in need of strength from the Father.
But then sometimes I look at Isaac and it hits me that this is MY baby and he is already 3 months old and he seems fairly happy most of the time so I must be doing something right! He is slowly gaining weight and while he isn't a chubby little boy like most babies are, he looks much more filled out then he did laying in the NICU. Sometimes I just listen to his wailing scream right before he gets a bottle and I think to myself that those very lungs are the ones that we were praying about. I do try to be careful here but sometimes there just isn't a lot I can do. If Isaac decides it is crying time, that is what he does. A few weeks ago, over Isaacs very fussy weeks, I was outside getting a bucket of mop water filled and the neighbor lady was doing the same thing. They live right next to us and when I say right next, I really mean that. If all else is quiet and you really concentrate I believe you could hear their conversations-that's how close they are. She commented that Isaac must be sleeping this morning because she can't hear him. I quickly started apologizing for all the times that Isaac had interrupted their conversations or maybe even woke them up at night. Much to my relief, she laughed and reminded me that she has two young boys herself so she has been there and done that. She went on to say how she can hardly believe that when he came his lungs were underdeveloped because that little boy can really sing! I had to smile at the very nice and kind way she had for describing the ear piercing wails!
I will include a little update on my health. I had been to the doctor a few times in the last few weeks and about two weeks ago we went in to collect the results from a test showing if I had any cancer cells. The doctor called Jared with the joyful news that the tests had come back negative. I sat on the chair next to the doctors desk and Jared sat across from me. We waited while she searched though her papers and found what she was looking for. From her phone call, we knew what to expect but somehow hearing her say it was the most relieving feeling. She looked at me and wiped her hand across her forehead and said 'you can forget about it, all looks fine, no cancer'. Tomorrow I am scheduled to get the polyp removed. It did not go away on its own and although it has shrunk to a very small size, it is still there. I am dreading the appointment but remind myself that I've been through far worse then this! Jared and I have been challenged recently by God's command to give thanks. 1 Thessalonians 5:8 'In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God.' It is Gods will for me to give thanks. For weeks we had cried out to God that this wouldn't be cancer. At times I felt eaten up with worry and anxiety wondering what the near future would hold. Now we know. We have the test results back and it's easy to thank God and move on with normal life. But I am challenging myself to thank God as much as I begged God. I want a heart of thanksgiving to consume my days.
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